I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

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Brian D.
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I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by Brian D. »

Someone I know indirectly was sent my way for advice on what gun to buy for concealed carry. He's been "thinking about" getting a license for several years now. Been working in the same bed neighborhood all that time, and had a few what I would call dangerous and/or scary encounters, but only very lately fell off the fence to the pro gun side. Sheesh! He claims to have adequate shooting experience, so we skipped having a range session using my stuff.

Anyway, I met him at a store with a WIDE selection of handguns, and decent prices. After about twenty minutes it became apparent that my time was being wasted. Everything was too big, too small, too expensive, not comfortable, etc. The clerk helping us is a guy I know, eventually he discretely gave me the "Oh, he's one of THOSE guys" eye roll. Sorry about that, Irving (not the clerk's real name.)

I honestly think this guy doesn't want to get a gun, unless someone just hands one over to him for free.

I've had this experience several times over thirty years, and afterwards always tell myself "That's it, I'm done, let everyone go buy their own damn guns and figure it all out themselves!" This time that inner voice is shouting, and repeating itself for a week.
Quit worrying, hide your gun well, shut up, and CARRY that handgun!

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M-Quigley
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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by M-Quigley »

I get similar questions from time to time from people who are on the fence about the issue. It sounds like you've done all you can do, and the rest is up to him. Some people have or see scary situations and think they should be prepared to deal with them if they need to, but unfortunately others aren't motivated to do do anything about it until a situation actually happens to them personally, and in a few cases it's too late. :(

I had the question once from someone who was thinking about carrying a gun, "But what if a carry a gun all the time and nothing ever happens where I need it?" :roll:
JonasM
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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by JonasM »

I don't ever want to deal with insurance companies by needing to make a claim. I don't want to have damage to my house or car, paid for or not. That doesn't mean I don't have homeowner's insurance, car insurance, etc.
Insurance is one placxe where you hope you're wasting your money. Carrying is similar.
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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by schmieg »

M-Quigley wrote: Sat Mar 25, 2023 8:28 am I had the question once from someone who was thinking about carrying a gun, "But what if a carry a gun all the time and nothing ever happens where I need it?" :roll:
That means everything worked out well.
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BB62
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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by BB62 »

Brian D. wrote: Sat Mar 25, 2023 8:04 am...

I've had this experience several times over thirty years, and afterwards always tell myself "That's it, I'm done, let everyone go buy their own damn guns and figure it all out themselves!" This time that inner voice is shouting, and repeating itself for a week.
Thanks for the interesting post.

If not here and now, hopefully you'll be rewarded for your sacrifices & service when you go to the big gun range in the sky.
Yes, I do believe in open carry. An openly armed man is clear in his intentions. Concealed carriers are sneaks and skulkers and elitist, boot licking, political contribution making, running dog lackies of The Man. <wink> (thx grumpycoconut - OpenCarry.org)

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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by Bearable »

Brian D. there you go. You have been on this forum this long because you are just damn to nice. I can give you some lessons on how to overcome that. :lol:
Brian D.
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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by Brian D. »

BB62 wrote: Sat Mar 25, 2023 1:27 pm
Brian D. wrote: Sat Mar 25, 2023 8:04 am...

I've had this experience several times over thirty years, and afterwards always tell myself "That's it, I'm done, let everyone go buy their own damn guns and figure it all out themselves!" This time that inner voice is shouting, and repeating itself for a week.
Thanks for the interesting post.

If not here and now, hopefully you'll be rewarded for your sacrifices & service when you go to the big gun range in the sky.
"So, I got that goin' for me."
--Carl Spackler, Caddyshack
Quit worrying, hide your gun well, shut up, and CARRY that handgun!

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EricTheBald
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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by EricTheBald »

I've been asked to do much the same thing. This is my standard response:

"Go to a gun store, or even better, a gun show, and try out several guns to see how they feel in your hand. Once you've narrowed it down to a few choices that feel comfortable, go to a range that rents guns and try them out. When you know what you want, come back to me, and I'll help you with the next step."
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Brian D.
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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by Brian D. »

EricTheBald wrote: Sun Mar 26, 2023 10:06 am I've been asked to do much the same thing. This is my standard response:

"Go to a gun store, or even better, a gun show, and try out several guns to see how they feel in your hand. Once you've narrowed it down to a few choices that feel comfortable, go to a range that rents guns and try them out. When you know what you want, come back to me, and I'll help you with the next step."
That's good advice. If they don't take those preliminary steps themselves, they may not be so interested after all. I have done it that way with folks in the past, actually.

Carmen accused me of being too nice and he may be right in this instance.
Quit worrying, hide your gun well, shut up, and CARRY that handgun!

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M-Quigley
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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by M-Quigley »

JonasM wrote: Sat Mar 25, 2023 11:08 am I don't ever want to deal with insurance companies by needing to make a claim. I don't want to have damage to my house or car, paid for or not. That doesn't mean I don't have homeowner's insurance, car insurance, etc.
Insurance is one placxe where you hope you're wasting your money. Carrying is similar.
Exactly. In fact I think I made a similar analogy to this person. The ironic thing is I never initially brought up the subject to carrying, or was trying to encourage her to do so. She was the one who brought up the subject to me, concerned about what had happened to other people she knew. So at least she was accepting of the fact that something like what happened to other people could happen to her, and she wanted something to be able to protect herself in case if it did.

When someone asks me about carrying, I don't try to encourage or discourage I try to just tell them the basic facts and what they do with it is up to them.

Some people want advice on self protection but not firearms and that's okay too, as long as they understand the limitations of other devices. It's kind of like having a basic insurance policy but it doesn't cover everything. I have a relative who couldn't afford full coverage auto so he got liability, thinking "I'm a good driver, I don't need full coverage." Then when some uninsured person hit his car the insurance company didn't want to help him. I have another relative who said the flood coverage option was too expensive and didn't get it. She lives in SW Florida and the last hurricane destroyed her home. :(
Although I carry pepper spray most of the time I'm not under any illusions it's the right tool for the job in all situations, to me it's just an option.
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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by cpg »

Brian D. wrote: Sat Mar 25, 2023 10:16 pm "So, I got that goin' for me."
--Carl Spackler, Caddyshack
:lol: :lol:
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I am compensating for being smaller and weaker than most criminals.
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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by carmen fovozzo »

I think We all are are becoming grumpy old men..I’ll be 80 this year. Finally learning when trying to help someone and it doesn’t work out I still feel good that I tried.
You should pat yourself on the back Brian..you did what most of us wouldn’t but should of..
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schmieg
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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by schmieg »

carmen fovozzo wrote: Tue Mar 28, 2023 7:56 am I think We all are are becoming grumpy old men..I’ll be 80 this year. Finally learning when trying to help someone and it doesn’t work out I still feel good that I tried.
You should pat yourself on the back Brian..you did what most of us wouldn’t but should of..
I take pride in my grumpiness.
-- Mike

"The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities." - Ayn Rand
Brian D.
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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by Brian D. »

schmieg wrote: Tue Mar 28, 2023 9:29 pm
carmen fovozzo wrote: Tue Mar 28, 2023 7:56 am I think We all are are becoming grumpy old men..I’ll be 80 this year. Finally learning when trying to help someone and it doesn’t work out I still feel good that I tried.
You should pat yourself on the back Brian..you did what most of us wouldn’t but should of..
I take pride in my grumpiness.
Thanks to both of you curmudgeons for keeping me off the ledge here, so to speak. Last Thursday I found out a restaurant employee friend of mine was leaving for another job, because she was being stalked and threatened. That really ticked me off. The owners were proactive by letting her go work at another location. By Monday another of her friends and I made sure she was armed and ready to protect herself if it ever comes to that. Meanwhile we're working on getting the creep locked up.
Quit worrying, hide your gun well, shut up, and CARRY that handgun!

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M-Quigley
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Re: I'm still (stupidly) helping newbies

Post by M-Quigley »

Brian D. wrote: Tue Mar 28, 2023 9:49 pm
schmieg wrote: Tue Mar 28, 2023 9:29 pm
carmen fovozzo wrote: Tue Mar 28, 2023 7:56 am I think We all are are becoming grumpy old men..I’ll be 80 this year. Finally learning when trying to help someone and it doesn’t work out I still feel good that I tried.
You should pat yourself on the back Brian..you did what most of us wouldn’t but should of..
I take pride in my grumpiness.
Thanks to both of you curmudgeons for keeping me off the ledge here, so to speak. Last Thursday I found out a restaurant employee friend of mine was leaving for another job, because she was being stalked and threatened. That really ticked me off. The owners were proactive by letting her go work at another location. By Monday another of her friends and I made sure she was armed and ready to protect herself if it ever comes to that. Meanwhile we're working on getting the creep locked up.
I had something similar back in the 90's. A friend of my wife's was being threatened by an ex. Although she had a restraining order, a detective told her that in terms of protection the order was worthless, because they could only respond if the guy showed up to harm her. They suggested that she should get something to protect herself and that it was legal under the circumstances to carry a concealed handgun if she chose to. My wife suggested she should ask me. I had a small revolver at the time that I was no longer using. I initially didn't want to sell it along with the other guns I sold to put a DP on some farmland, but under her circumstances I felt compelled to try to help her out. I not only sold her the gun, I helped her in learning to shoot it, and gave her some ammunition. The ironic thing was the ex never followed through and she ended up transferring her job to another state. She just left the gun in her purse, ignoring it for years, until one day she was attacked by a stranger. It still worked just fine for her that day. :)
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