There was an attempted shooting earlier today but luckily, the police were close by.
They managed to tackle the shooter's AR-15 to the floor. They pinned it to the ground and kicked it a few times for good measure, though it did not appear to be resisting arrest.
Bewildered, the shooter shrugged and slowly backed away.
"Honestly I was kinda hoping to make a name for myself," he told reporters later. "But they just blamed the gun. So... well, I guess I won't be famous after all."
"At this point, we aren't looking for any further suspects," an FBI official told reporters as the AR-15 was read its rights and hauled away in the back of a police cruiser. "It seems the AR-15 acted entirely of its own volition, without any human operator who might have behavioral or mental issues."
"The weapon is obviously a menace that needs to be locked up to prevent any further harm," he added.
New ad for Dave Chappelle comedy special strikes back at woke culture: 'If you say anything, you risk everything'
Mr. Chappelle, I was crazy hype to hear you say you’re a firearm owner, whereas, most celebrities seem unwilling not admit such a thing. Simply mentioning that you are a gun owner, while acknowledging that it’s a mere tool used for emergencies, is a dope level of objectivity and transparency. That creative balance is why you are one of the BEST TO EVER DO IT.
Thanks for being you, and no bones were broken during my viewing of the hilarious Sticks and Stones.
My hope is that this letter reaches you, your fans, and even the people who hate your guts, so that more people are properly informed about gun ownership.
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