Different view than husband...

[TKshooter]

Do any of you ladies run into situations regarding carrying or gun issues that you have a different view than your husband/significant other? If so how do you handle that situation respectfully?

Example: I have never open carried but that thought has crossed my mind. I am more of a political activist than my husband and can get passionate about things I care about. Although I have heard the pros and cons of open carry and am not trying to open that can of worms; my husband is very much against it. He does not want me open carrying. He is worried about all of the trouble that may bring. I understand his views, but mine sometimes differ.

I figure for the time being I just will not OC with him and if I get brave enough to try and OC it will be when I am by myself.

Just thought I would throw that out there and see what everyone does in this kind of situation.

[Sevens]

I can see both sides of the 'open carry' issue and I can see pretty much ALL of what both sides encompass.

I can also see how two sides of a marriage need to peacefully and productively co-exist with each other.

I can't say that I envy your predicament, but I will say that I'm thrilled beyond my ability to express that I don't find myself in a similar situation, and I'll leave you to ponder why that is so.

[slowquest]

My wife and I use what we call "veto power" on decisions. If I want to do something, I ask her. If she REALLY doesn't want me doing it, she "vetoes" my choice. We just both have to be very careful to not veto small choices that really don't make a difference so that the power actually means something.

[BuckJM53]

TK ... not knowing the dynamics of your marriage or specific situation, I can only offer what 39 years of marriage has taught me:
1. My wife and I are never afraid to openly discuss any issue that might effect us individually or our relationship.
2. On small issues we give each other a great deal of latitude and try never to be controlling.
3. On large issues that will likely impact both of us, we discuss all angles and generally come up with a pretty good plan that we can both support.
4. When we can't come to an agreement that we can both support, we generally table the decision until we can (when in doubt ... don't).

With that said, this is a tough call (at least for me) as open carry is a small issue with large issue potential. While in a perfect world open carry should create no issue given that it is perfectly legal, how would you and your husband be affected at the end of the day if you were to become the focus of a "woman with a gun" call? Good luck with your decision.

[Mrs. Daspirate]

We handle decision like that in a very individual manner, but still supportive. We pretty much agree on a lot of things gun-related, so the only example of our system that I can think of is when Joe decided he was getting into guns at all and I was still very much against. The way we see things, if one of us wants to do something, we're entitled to do it, regardless of how the other one feels about it: UNLESS, the objection is a serious safety issue. We are very, very careful that we never force each other to a viewpoint, we do not force each other try anything.
If the objection is something that will necessarily affect the other person, then a huge discussion comes about and we pretty much don't stop attacking the issue (attacking the issue, not each other, as much as we can help it) until we've come to an understanding about how the other person will handle whatever part affects them.
So, as far as guns, I was never forced to use them or carry them, but after a long discussion, I agreed to a safety lesson in case I ever had to handle them - because Joe's argument was that my ignorance was a safety issue for both of us.

Another instance, not gun-related, is that I love to go line-dancing. Joe hates it. That time, there was a safety issue involved - the place I like to go is an hour away, I frequently drive back at 2 am, and while the bouncers are genuinely good at their jobs inside, they don't cover the parking lot. Joe didn't want me going alone and wasn't willing to come with. I agreed that he didn't have to come, because again, our rule is never to force the other do something. But there was still a safety concern, and a legitimate one - thus I agreed that I would continue going, but only when I could find a friend that was willing to stay as late I like to stay and as long as I left with that friend. Some friends see this as Joe limiting my activities, but it was my choice - in response to a very legitimate safety issue that he brought up.

It's a system that works pretty well for us. We discuss everything. We never force the other to do something. We give heavy weight to safety concerns. If one wants to do something with a high likelihood of affecting the other even if they do not participate that is discussed as respectfully as possible until a compromise is found that is acceptable to both - we do not go forward until said compromise is reached, and we try hard not to violate it when it is reached.

[Mustang380gal]

Do any of you ladies run into situations regarding carrying or gun issues that you have a different view than your husband/significant other? If so how do you handle that situation respectfully?

Example: I have never open carried but that thought has crossed my mind. I am more of a political activist than my husband and can get passionate about things I care about. Although I have heard the pros and cons of open carry and am not trying to open that can of worms; my husband is very much against it. He does not want me open carrying. He is worried about all of the trouble that may bring. I understand his views, but mine sometimes differ.

I figure for the time being I just will not OC with him and if I get brave enough to try and OC it will be when I am by myself.

Just thought I would throw that out there and see what everyone does in this kind of situation.

If he is dead-set against it, then I think you should not do it even if he is not with you. For your own peace of mind, you could ask him what he is concerned about. If any of his concerns, however invalid, should ever happen, it would impact his life as much as yours.

There are other ways to express 2A support, and be active that he may have less concern over. Be creative, find out what he'll go along with, and run with it.

When my husband and I married 22 years ago, I had lots of different ideas how many things ought to be. Conflict ensued, and led to lots of unhappiness. When I learned to let go, trust his instincts and let him lead, things were more peaceful, and I found out his ideas and decisions weren't so bad after all. As a matter of fact, he turned out to be pretty doggone smart.

The way I see it, 22 years and 9 children in, is that he and I are a team, and he is the team captain. He calls the plays, and I run with them. I certainly can suggest which play I'd like to do, and how to implement it, but it's ultimately up to him.

[SMMAssociates]

We have a simple rule around here....

Sherri is always right....

Until it's proven that she's wrong....

Then we do what I wanted to ....

She's never had any issues with me carrying - I was doing that for about seven years before we got married.

(Can't get her on the range, though. "Not ladylike"....)

Linda: With 9 kids, remembering where you live has to be a whole lot bigger problem ....

Just IMHO, it's important to try to figure out who's got expertise in what, and run with that. For example, surviving my cooking is problematical. So I cut up the lettuce, set the table, etc., and Sherri pretty much does the rest. Unless we're fooling with the barbecue - she has no idea how to light one .

Regards,

[Mr. Glock]

Another instance, not gun-related, is that I love to go line-dancing. Joe hates it.

Now, I'd pay money if you posted a video of Joe line-dancing on the forum....that would be funny.

[DasPirate]

Another instance, not gun-related, is that I love to go line-dancing. Joe hates it.

Now, I'd pay money if you posted a video of Joe line-dancing on the forum....that would be funny.

I think the best you're going to get is photos. No such video exists. I saw to that.

[Mr. Glock]

If you are wearing a ruffled shirt, those would suffice.

[Brian D.]

If you are wearing a ruffled shirt, those would suffice.

Especially if Mr. and Mrs. DasPirate are wearing matching western outfits, couples who do that are SO adorable!

[Mrs. Daspirate]

I find this particular thread derailment incredibly amusing.

[TunnelRat]

When I learned to let go, trust his instincts and let him lead, things were more peaceful, and I found out his ideas and decisions weren't so bad after all. As a matter of fact, he turned out to be pretty doggone smart.

I'd say he's pretty smart -- he married you, didn't he?

[synack2]

TK ... not knowing the dynamics of your marriage or specific situation, I can only offer what 39 years of marriage has taught me:
1. My wife and I are never afraid to openly discuss any issue that might effect us individually or our relationship.
2. On small issues we give each other a great deal of latitude and try never to be controlling.
3. On large issues that will likely impact both of us, we discuss all angles and generally come up with a pretty good plan that we can both support.
4. When we can't come to an agreement that we can both support, we generally table the decision until we can (when in doubt ... don't).

With that said, this is a tough call (at least for me) as open carry is a small issue with large issue potential. While in a perfect world open carry should create no issue given that it is perfectly legal, how would you and your husband be affected at the end of the day if you were to become the focus of a "woman with a gun" call? Good luck with your decision.

I just give in and shut up. I makes life easier in the long run.

I would just say that if she wanted to do something like open carry and I was against it (I wouldn't be though), that she needs to make sure we have some Cash aside for bail and a lawyer if something goes wrong!

[Mr. Glock]

I find this particular thread derailment incredibly amusing.

Yes, it is...we may not be directly solving the issue at hand, but that is very like most marriages too...sometimes it takes awhile to come out in the wash. I'm 20 years with Mrs Glock in June, and she probably still won't go to an OFCC event with that name tag again (since the time Strickland spoke to PITP....long story, I'm not Stu).